I Hate Mondays

i do. i really do. hate mondays, i mean. here is why. this is another email i sent to people who werent there at lunch today and missed out on all the action.

ok as caitlin put it so suttly i might add after school today I AM SCREWED. its as simple as that. ok maybe not simple, since nothing my life can be simple anymore, but here is what happens next.
so this morning i tell her "brandi, the reason he doesnt want to go out with you is because hes gay!"
"no hes not!" the she held up her hand nearly smacking me in the face and says "dont even"
which doesnt exactly make any sense but nonetheless thats what she said
and basically we just sort of walk along beside each other cause she was headed in the same place i was and we were in the commons so that basically ruined her whole "im an angry bitch dont mess with me" theme and then she start walking faster toward the gym and tripped and fell on her face and slid across the floor for about ten feet. well thats what i saw in my mind anyway. she just hurried along toward the gym. no fall *sob* that would have been hilarious. so i just keep walking to the band room to go and yap with caitlin and viviana and alex and stuff before i need to head to freeman.
so caitlin was origionally planning on sitting by fartdude at lucnh today and i was going to sit with her, but then we changed our minds cause boys are icky and spit their food when they eat cause they eat and talk at the same time and stuff like that. yeah.............
anyway. so when we finish eating we look over to see where he is and hes gone and shes like "he probably went to go get a cookie cause he always gets a cookie"
so we talk and blab for like ten minutes and he still isnt back so shes like "lets go look in the library!" so we go down to the library well we actually just make it three steps down before she looks up through the giant window and points out that "oh! hes playing ping pong! see? hes already there! lets go!" so we go to the ping pong things and stand there not really doing anything and just sort of goof off and joke around and stuff and brandi comes along all in a huff, looking like a redfaced raccoon with her thick eyeliner and bad facial complection.
"HES NOT GAY!!!" she screams at me. i look at her and laugh. i tried to hold it in but it was difficult. then caitlin whispered something in my ear that only made me start laughing really loud. so i brilliantly decide to tell brandi what i had just heard
"ok, he watches project runway, you cant get anymore gay than that!"
"whats project runway?"
so we explain to her what it is and she still refused to believe that he was gay
so caitlin whispered "just tell her hes already dating someone"
"ok, brandi the real reason he cant go out with you is because hes dating someone"
"who?"
"zack"
"yes but who is he dating?"
"who is he dating?" i whisper to caitlin
"you" she whispered
"you" i said. "i mean me" and i start laughing at my brainless word mistake
"WHAT???????????????????????" she screams
then i realized what ihad just said. a million and one words crossed my mind but none of them seamed fitting to use at a time like this. because no word could describe what i had just done. stupid, idiot, retard, dumbass, mother f***er (I put stars cause i dont like using that word on the computer it makes me feel nasty) i thought, but none were enough to describe what had happened. i didnt even think.
"yeah we didnt tell anyone cause im not supposed to date til im 18 hehehe *im gonna die*" the part in the stars is what i i mumbled under my breath. no one heard it.
she stood there staring at me
"your dating junior?" caitlin asked
"uh...." i wasnt even thinking at all right then the rest of what i said was my mouth trying to fix everything and failing miserably "yeah. didnt he tell you? huh. well yeah. we are. heheh....heh. uh...."
"no your not! i thought you were already dating somebody else" brandi said
i paused for a moment trying to think of who the hell she could be talking about.
"you mean will? no. im not, nor was i ever, dating will. at all. ever. hes just my friend and he hasnt even kept any sort of contact with me since like the day before school started"
"i dont believe you" she said
"its TRUE!!" it was. he hasnt replied to a single email, called me at all, or IMed me. we got into this HUGE fight the night before school started and he told me to just try and ignore him cause he didnt think i could do it so the last thing he said to me was "fine. ignore me." and so i did. and he hasnt bothered to fix things so neither will i. i dont really care tough.
"and i also dont believe your dating zack" brandi continued
"you dont? go ask him!" i said.
"yeah hes right there!" caitlin said pointing to him
"you know what? ill go get him!" i said feeling very panicked. i dart over to where he was standing. i had no idea what i was going to say but before i even had a chance to think about what to say the words sort of spilled out of my mouth. i told him breifly what had just happened and waited for him to freak out and ram himself through the giant window he was standing in front and fall to his sharp glassy death on the grass below. but he didnt. he stood there. i didnt even want to look at his face but then again i dont normally but this time was different (somehow) so i looked over to brandi and caitlin and everybody who were all staring at us i swear i was about ready to ram myself out the window. i cant remember what he said after that. i cant even remember if he said anything at all. i look back over my shoulder to where zack was but he was gone! i whip around to my left and there he is walking away and i shout "HEY! WERENT YOU JUST STANDING RIGHT THERE!!!" i point to where he had just been. "THATS NOT COOL MAN HOW DID YOU DO THAT!!!!" im not sure if i was trying to change the subject or if i was really boggled by how he suddenly gone from one side of me to the other without making a sound and without me noticing or anything. i think it was a little bit of both. then caitlin makes fun of me and stands on the side where he had been and jumps over to my left and asks me how she did it and i start laughing nervously.
and that was basically how it ended.
but science is when it really starts getting bad. why does everything bad always happen to me in science?
i sat down at our lab table and scott says "so lainey. hows the gay boyfriend?" dont ask. its a looooooooooooooong story that has nothing to do with what happened today. so i say my usual "fine. hows yours?" and says the usual "that would actually be funny if i didnt have a girlfriend."
and tatiana happened to be walking by then and he said "tatiana who is laineys boyfriend?"
and she just walks on by, stops at her lab group which is right behind ours and says "why should i tell you?" see, she knew i didnt have a boyfriend, she just plays along cause shes awesomely funny that way.
and hes like "tatiana, please. jsut tell me." and he has this look on his face like if she doesnt tell him he might die which was hilarious.
so i yank her over and stand up from my stool and whisper in her ear everything that happened at lunch. so scott and elias heard zacks name in there somewhere and the look on tatianas face was like "HOLY MOTHER EFFING SHIRT YOU DID WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!"
and i nod my head and she turns around goes to work on the lab with her group. so scot goes "your dating zack?"
and i try to explain to him what had happened but he was going to have none of it. it was too good an opportunity to pass up. "im going to tell everybody" he said eagerly anticipating what was going to happen to me when people found out was dating fartdude. i swear i saw my life flash before my eyes just then.
so some other people in science heard and i knew this because the were smiling wryly when i glanced over to them after scott said that i was dating zack. i was about ready to punch him in the face but i had better self control than that. unfortunately not enough to stop myself from telling brandi that i am going out with zack badzik. WHICH I AM NOT.
so after the bell at the end of the day rang i skipped out of the choir room and into the hallway right in front of where the eighth grade and seventh grade hallways split which is also where his locker is. but thats not why i was there. caitlin was there and we stopped to discuss some things mainly what happened in science and i felt it only necessary to tell him what happened so i could set him straight so that if scott really was telling the truth about how he would tell everyone, he would know that it wasnt me who was spreading lies about the two of us. so he and caitlin and i walk to the band room together and i tell him what happened in science and he doesnt say ANYTHING and he looks down all depressedlike and stuff and i feel really bad and all and i state this out loud to him that he looks really depressed and angry and he still doesnt say anything and caitlin says "lainey"
i turn to face her still walking between the two of them "hmm?"
"your screwed" she says with a laugh.
"I am." i say blankly.
she said something else and then we laughed and then i patted him on the back and said "thats the way to do it" even though i dont quite remember what it was exactly that we said just before that. as we rounded the corner caitlin says "now people have seen you talking and know your dating for sure" she laughed again.
"OH NO!" i shout fakely "now we'll have to hug!" we nearly fall over laughing at this. and the whole time he still hasnt said a word. i dont think. then i tell caitlin about the solo i have in jazz band and shes like "you have a solo? THAT MAKES YOU SEXI LAINEY!!!!" and we laugh some MORE and then he says stuff about how he could probably do a better improv for trombone solo on his sax. and then some stuff happened and mr waterkotte played a funny youtube clip of a guy on a bike running into a road sign that we had already watched today on band cause we had a funday. josh pointed thios out to me on our way to band and im like "WHA? but how did THAT happen! we dont have enough points for a FUNDAY!!!" and we never will, i thought to myself.
BUT BUT BUT BUT BUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LISTEN TO THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
so i was walking out of the school with caitlin toward the buses and brandi is standing there talking to people and i say "whats with the stink eye?" cause she gave me the look as i walked by her.
"WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO GO AND RUIN MY LIFE!!!!" she whines
"EXUSE ME??? you cant get mad at me for the-" absolutely and completely fake "-TRUTH!"
that was actually kind of funny. her complaining about me ruining her life. cause i remember the way her life shattered before her eyes when she saw me ask zack out for her on friday. the aftermath was showing on her face as she watched me walk away with caitlin.
so yeah. that is howi have now become totally and utterly screwed.
i cant imagine that it could be much better for fartdude. SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!