The Sound Of Settling

wow I haven't made a post in a while! Well, Robin and I made up on MONDAY the first day back to school after one of the worst weekends of my life. They called me up to Ms. Irish's room during fifth period and I walked in on Robin crying. Turns out that little talk Kayla and I had in Science that day was the cause of Robins crying (well, part of it). Robe really liked Kayla and looked up to her because of something she said to her on Friday and when Kayla over heard me and Allison talking about Robin and trying to figure out what the heck is going on with her Kayla looked over her computer and said, "WHAT? she told me you guys are ditching her because you don't like her hanging out with me!"
And I'm just like "NO! We didn't care that she was friends with you! she told US she needs 'change' because we aren't working out very well for her as friends."
"What? OK, she lied to me." then she started mumbling about how she was going to ditch robin or something at lunch.
Well, it turns out that Robin ended up spending her lunch in the GIRL'S BATHROOM! I felt so sorry her so I forgave her for acting like an A hole to me three days ago. so now we are friends gain and things are all cool between us. It's really nice to hear "the Sound Of Settling", lol!!!!!

A beautiful Sorrow & Metamorphosis

Today, I lost someone very dear to my heart. I know what you're all thinking, but no, Chris doesn't leave until Tuesday, the 10th (although he is someone very dear to my heart). No, I'm thinking of Robin. if you are just reading this blog now, then go back and look at the posts titled:
"the TRUE warmth"
"Brad Wilmot"
and "DITZY MOMENTS-ROTFLOL!"
in THAT EXACT ORDER
because they build up Robin's character, trust me! then you can continue to read this post.
I think they are all under April, but I'm not sure.
anyway, so this is the convo between me and one of my (ex) bestest buddies, Robin, aka robE, or Robe (I had to *sensor* some stuff):

9:33 PM me: you love your WHAT?
9:41 PM Robin: ! <3>9:42 PM Why do u have a hippy?
Robin: bcuz i <3>me: and who IS ur hippy?
9:43 PM Robin: cant tell u....cuz u'll start calling him a hippy & he'll get pissed @ mehh & he wont lett mehh call him my hippehh anymore 9:45 PM so now ur just not gunna talk 2 mehh!?!?
9:47 PM whatev GOOD BYE! then pplz wonder y i get so pissed off all the tyme~
9:48 PM me: Robin, srry. I was doing research for the Band project.
but I promise I won't call him a hippy to his face!
or behind his back!
9:49 PM OMG is it SAM?
Robin: i told u im not gunna tell u....& right now i dont fell like talkin' 2 u!!!!! 9:50 PM >:
me: so it is Sam.
and why are you so mad at me?
what did I do?
Robin: NO its not Sam!
9:51 PM IM JUST PISSED @ ALL U PPLZ!
me: I guess I'm not gonna get any lovin' from YOU anymorez so I'll take this convo to Alan
9:52 PM Robin: good. cuz apprantly none of u guys r my friends anymore. so ill just be hanging out with Kayla & Sammy from now on. @ least i feel more welcomed
9:53 PM me: Since WHEN were we not ur friends?

Robin: *NOW*!\
9:54 PM from right now on
me: Robin, I've always been there for you, and the second I ask you a question you turn into the purple people eater and want to bight my head off!
9:55 PM Robin: yeah well when i needed you guys the most you weren't there for me. so from now on, i wont have to worry about that because Kayla's like my sister and she understands me WAY more & she ACTUALLY will listen instead of running around everywhere acting like an idiot!
9:56 PM me: OK, WHEN recently wasn't I there for you, huh?
what did I DO?
if I ignored you, it was an accident!
Robin: u weren't there and 2day!
me: I was busy today!

Robin: and Yesterday!
9:57 PM me: WHAT HAPPENED YESTURDAY
Robin: yeah, exaclty my point!
me: ?
Robin: im not telling you, like i said Kayla understands better. seeing how she was the one there for mehh
9:58 PM me: Ok, lets take this in baby steps.
10:00 PM Robin, I love you sooo much (but not in that weird way), and that day @ Skateland, I was so happy because we were friends again, and I have really enjoyed being your friend ever since. but I don't see why all of that has to change because of something I don't even KNOW about!
Robin: fine, my babystep is that i cant stand not ever being heard & im tired of it, & when im with Kayla and sammy they actually understand mehh & it makes mehh feel wanted for the first tyme in my life so im
ditching you guys and moving on. plus Kayla is actually interested in the same type of guys so we communicate WAY better. ITS OVER and im DONE WITH ALL OF THIS CRAPP
10:01 PM me: Sh*t now I'm crying.
I hope you happy.
10:02 PM Robin: you guys stay in the same spot all the tyme. everything is the same everyday. and i just cant take it. i need change! and im sorry but i've already found it. i just wasn't happy with my group of friends
10:03 PM i just cant take it anymore
10:05 PM me: Well, Robin, I'm sorry that other people don't LIKE me as much as they like Kayla, but believe me, I am going through a REALLY hard time right now and all I need is a shoulder to cry on, and well, Robin, I was hoping we could TALK.
you know.
to sort stuff out.
and I would have LISTENED to you!
but you never gave me a chance!
10:06 PM so I gave up.
Robin: no thank you. i have already found where i belong. and apparantly your not happy with mehh, but thats just how it is and your going to have to get over it.
10:11 PM me: Robin, I have always been happy with you, just the way you are!
10:12 PM I have never tried to change you, and I really like all the fun we've had together.
10:13 PM Robin, I considered you part of my family, and I accepted you for all the differences you had.
Robin: yes and that is not what im trying to get acrossed to you. i liked the fun 2, but i NEED change right now, and right now it would also be best for my acedemics 2

me: what about summer.
and the movie.
10:14 PM can you still film it?
Robin: i will still do that.
but im saying all the stuff we use to do together and skool time and crapp like that.
me: so then during the summer we can still be friends?
Robin: thats not what im saying
10:15 PM me: and goof off like we used to?
then what are you saying.
cause I'm really confused.
Robin: right now i NEED to focus on other things, maybe in like 8th grade of high skool ill have tyme for you guys, but maybe not

10:16 PM what im trying to do is STOP goofing off, lifes to short and i need to use that time well i still have it.
10:17 PM me: exactly. that's just it. Life IS too short.
Robin: oh gawd not AGAIN!
10:18 PM me: and that's why I wanted this friendship to last forever and not waste a single minute of it on stupid stuff like fighting.
my eyes are stinging and burning from all the crying.
10:19 PM Robin: were not fighting. im just telling you that im not going to be there for you guys right now. and that i NEED change, i cant take it how u guys are. the SAME EXACT thing EVERY day
10:22 PM me: ok, then, just know that whatever happens, i will always have a certainplace in my heart for you, just like I do for everyone else and I'll always be here to listen, even if you still don't know that you have something to say.

10:23 PM Robin: goodbye
10:24 PM me: you want change as much as you need it, but you look really close you'll notice we're all changing socially and flip-flopping all over the place and if you could have jsut been there today when Kelsie told me what she said then I think you'd understand.
Robin: though i am still friends with Megan and Hannah
me: Robin, we love you.
Robin: what did Kelsie say?
10:26 PM me: she is going through a really tough time right now and just needs a friend but her hormones are all in a tangle and I've there too where you can't stop yourself from being a b**** to everyone and just pushing your friends further and further away from you, and yet still expecting them to love you all the same.
and I do.
10:27 PM because that is what friends are there for. not to ditch because you need change because remember THEY HAVE FEELINGS TOO!
10:28 PM Robin: so your saying all this stuff about mehh but still think that you can change my mind when your saying this stuff
10:29 PM me: I am not trying to change to change your mind robin, I'm just asking you to take a step back, and think about how your decisions are affecting other people.
10:31 PM Robin: i need Kayla and Sammy right now. im done, i've made up my mind. i see how it affects them, its not any different, seeing how i never felt welcomed in the first place. goodbye lainey!

and then she was offline
Thanx for the help Alan.
And Robin, of you're reading this, I want you to look at the Goofy LOL pin I got you in Disneyland. Look at it, but don't throw it away, I want you to keep it. and every time you see it I hope you know what you are leaving behind.
And Alan, I can understand the needing change part. I can even understand her being mad at me for not being there for her. but what I don't understand is HOW COULD SHE SAY WE STAY THE SAME EVERY DAY???????????? that doesn't make any sense!
I've told you enough for for you to know that we never stay the same! right?
Help would would be greatly appreciated.